Masochism Tango

Its a...

2009-09-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

BOY! Yup, thats how long its been since I last blogged. i really don't think I am cut out for this. I am more the quicky Facebook updater as opposed to the deep and lengthy blogger...but I'll keep giving it a try.

So yes, L. is going to have a little brother. I have to admit, I was shocked. I couldn't really imagine it would be anything else than a girl, just because that was what I was used to, but SUPRISE! I just hope I know what to do with a boy. You do realize the first month or so I will still giggle every time I change his diaper..."tee-hee, its so tiny!"

Expecting your 2nd is much different than your first. With your 1st, you know life is going to change but you have no real knowledge of how tough it can get at times. Also, you are OK with your life changing because you are giving it all up for this wonderful bundle of joy. With the 2nd, you have already giving up the "single life" so that is cool, but now instead of this bundle of joy affecting your life (which you are totally cool with) but they will also be impacting your 1st bundle's life. Then you start to feel guilty...I'm going to be taking time, attention, etc away from the love of my life, what have I done? Then you feel guilty because you know even though you are thinking these things, it doesn't mean you love the 2nd any less...but what if someone can read your thoughts and THEY think you don't love #2 as much..... See where the semi-madness could seep in? So I had to remind myself for a few days that I'm not taking away from L.'s life, I am adding to it in a most awesome way. Now when I do things with her I don't think "I wonder if I'll get to have these moments with her ever again", I try and think "These moments will be even better because she will get to share them with her little brother".

By the way...no names yet.... so feel free to suggest. I'm looking for something long since we have a long last name, but I would like to be able to shorten it to something for every day yelling in order to save the full name for the "OH MY GOD YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE" incidents, or you know, in case he becomes famous!

Hey, Look what I made!

2009-06-01T13:52:00.001-07:00

Here are 2 pics of things I have made recently. The blanket is for my mother-in-law. She lives in Maine and I thought she might like a lap robe to keep her legs warm while watching TV, or just relaxing. The jewelry pillow is for my Aunt. She has a lot of earrings, pins etc and I thought this was a cute way to display them when she needs to just take them off quick before bed time. Actually, I made another one on white for my mom. I'm just too lazy to take a picture of it ;)

Oh, there is one more thing I made recently. Its actually a project in progress. M. (hubby) helped... but the real work that still needs to be done falls on my shoulders. Well, not really shoulders. More like my belly. About 32 more weeks before its done. WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

Baby Couture

2009-04-07T16:21:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of the dress my mom and I made for L. It has a crocheted top (my part) and a gathered skirt (Moms part). I am hoping to get a better picture of it soon, but this will have to do. I'd love to find a boutique that would be interested in carrying these. I love making them, and I think other moms would like them too.

March of the Books

2009-04-01T04:55:00.001-07:00

So this month I actually accomplished a New Year's Resolution. I read 2 more Classic books which brings my total to 3 for the year. It feels good to know that when 2010 rolls around I'll be able to say "Hey, at least I finished one thing!" Maybe that is the way to do it... make a bazillion little resolutions and you are bound to get at least one done. The other books I finished are The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, and The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. I really enjoyed the Dorian Gray book. I guess I knew too much about the Scarlett Letter to really be surprised by it.

So now with what little free time I have, I am trying to work on various craft projects and maybe get a jump on reading some more of those classic books for next year. I started reading "The Complete Tales of Sherlock Holmes Volume 1". Its a big book, so it might take me all year to finish that one ;)

I did manage to also crank out 3 gifts for Christmas next year. 2 Lap blankets (For mother-in-law and sister-in-law) and a hat (for step-father-in-law). That in addition to the 2 baby car seat blankets I made means I have just one more project to finish and then my goal is met for that. Right now I am working on a dress for L. Its crocheted at the top and the skirt will be some fabric that has yet to be picked out. I have the top almost done, and since my mom is visiting, I think I'll get her help on making the skirt portion. The directions seem easy for the skirt but I do much better if I watch someone make it the first time.

The only other big thing coming soon will be L's 2nd birthday in 2.5 months. I am still on the fence about how we should celebrate. A party of course, but not sure how big. You get sucked into those "If I invite them, then I should invite these people too" sort of thing, then it gets out of control and you end up having 50 people at your house. I am going to try and keep it simple this year... wish me luck!

750 Plus pages

2009-03-07T05:25:00.000-08:00

Not sure if I shared, but one of my New Years resolutions was to read some of the "classic" books that I should have read in life by now, but have put off for one reason (laziness) or another (extreme laziness). Well, I am happy to report that I FINALLY finished Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. I have to admit, I don't think I got as much out of it as I might have when I am younger. The topics that are covered are mostly religion, politics, and that sort of thing. Since I'm older now and pretty set in my views in both of these areas, it didn't make me "think" like it might have done were I a young girl just starting to form these ideals. But all that being said, I did enjoy the story and I am glad I read it. Now only 2 more "classic" books to finish before the years end and I will have made my goal. Then I can get back to reading all the trashy crime novels that I love so dearly.

My 25th hour

2009-02-09T15:19:00.000-08:00

So I used to just roll my eyes when I was young when I would ask my mom what she wanted for Christmas/Birthday, etc because she would always say "Just 1 more hour in the day". Now that I am a mom, I TOTALLY understand why she wanted that.

So I was thinking today... what would I do with my 25th hour. You know, an hour in the day that no one else had, where time stopped just for me. See thats the secret of the 25th hour... no one else can have it, or they will expect things from you in your extra hour... Nope, this is a special secret time and I could do anything I wanted with a whole 60 minutes. The thought is heavenly.

Here is what I came up with, my 25th hour to do list

1) Sleep. Lets face it, the first few days I would just use 24:01 thru 25:00 to try and catch up on some extra sleep.

2) Work out. OK, truth time, I probably wouldn't work out in reality..but since this 25th hour will never happen, lets just complete the fantasy and pretend I might work out a few of those days.

3) Craft Time. There are certain things you can do while watching a toddler all day, and some you can't. Case in point: You can surf the internet between story reading, meal prep, tickle-time, and outings and you will find about a million different craft projects you want to try....BUT you CAN NOT try new or complicated craft projects (or even simple ones if they require numerous small parts) around a toddler. Toddlers have an amazing reach and no matter how far you push something to the middle of the table, or the back of the counter, they find a way to get a hold of it when you are not looking. Plus, anything that requires intense concentration can not be completed around a toddler.

Yup, I think that I would use my extra hour for Craft Time. I have a growing list of things I want to make (and I keep finding more because I can't stay off the sewing/craft sites thanks to Stumble Upon) and I know I won't get to a fraction of them. I even waited until the last minute this year to make L.'s Christmas stocking. (I am making her a new one each Christmas so she will have them as mementos...). I would start her stocking for next year, but have no idea what she will be "into" by December so I will wait. This year's Elmo stocking was a HUGE HIT.

I would have said "Keep in better touch with family" or "spend more time with friends" but since this is my secret 25th hour that no one else has, that wouldn't really be possible ;)

So what would YOU do with your 25th hour?

Almost made it...

2009-01-31T21:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I almost made it thru all of January without eating fast food. We went to a baby shower that started at 5:00 and it was co-ed so ALL of us went. L. has so much fun at parties meeting new people and exploring new spaces that we have not been successful in getting her to eat at these shin-digs. We left the party after 7 and stopped to get some McDonalds. We didn't get home until almost 8:30 (bath time) so there is no way I could have made dinner any earlier. I'm not beating myself up actually because my goal was to allow myself fast food every 2 weeks so this is a real PLUS. L. enjoyed her nuggets and ate all 6 of them, ate a bunch of fries, then had grapes for dessert.

So today is Feb 1st... maybe I'll be more successful with some of the other resolutions, maybe not. I'm actually not too worried about it. Maybe I am in a more Zen place now..

OMG its almost February!

2009-01-23T15:30:00.001-08:00

Um, yeah.... remember when I was going to do a whole bunch of things to kick off the new year... well guess what.... not many of them have been done. Oh well, I'll keep trying, don't worry.

I have been very sucessful in trying to switch over to using reusable grocery bags. I know its not a huge deal, but so far this year I have used mine 13 times. Thats 13 less plastics bags you'll see in the dump (You are very welcome.) Actually a friend pointed out to me that its most likely more than that because my reuseable bags are pretty big and strong, unlike those flimsy plastic ones. At least I am sticking to one of my resolutions.

I shouldn't be so hard on myself... I have made 2 carseat blankets for friends having babies, and I am working on a lap afghan for my mother-in-law for next christmas. It should be done in the next week or so. That'll be 3 projects out of my sewing room.. GO ME.

So I think January is ending much better than it started. Did I mention that we had to get rid of my 2 cats that I have had for 11 years? M's allergies got worse over the years so it had to be done. It was heartbreaking for me. I swear bad things happen in sets of 3. But now January is getting better. One of my real estate clients found a house, so we are working on that deal for him... and I finally feel like things are "in place". I just had such high hopes for 2009 that I think I psyched myself out at the first sign of bad news. I just needed to shake it off....

I am trying to remember all the awesome things that January brought. When you have a kid, everyday brings something awesome... you just have to take a breather and enjoy them and not look them over.

Monday I am going to try and get back on the "wagon" as far as some of the other resolutions. (Mostly the loosing weight ones). I'll keep you posted.

Just when you think it can't, it does...

2009-01-05T13:31:00.000-08:00

So remember when I was complaining about how HARSH 2009 was being to me? Well, I had no idea how lucky I was. We got terrible news yesterday that our friends' newborn baby girl (less than a month old) had suffered a massive pulmonary embolism and has passed on. She is survived by her twin sister who thank god is growing stronger each day and should be able to come home soon, and she has an older brother and 2 loving parents waiting for her at home too. I can't fathom what my friends are going through emotionally. I feel bad now for complaining about being sick, because then something like this hits you and you realize how lucky you are just to be here.

L. was still sick yesterday and therefore VERY cuddle prone. After the bad news about our friends' baby, I was more than happy to snuggle and hold my baby all day long. No complaints here.

So, kind of a crappy topic to blog about, but its weighing heavily on my mind. Maybe my resolution should be to appreciate what I have more.... I am truly blessed.

And now a Dash of Reality

2009-01-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

2009, how could you treat me so harshly already? We rang in the new year with a RAGING stomach virus. It started with me, moved to Grandma E. who was visiting, then to our daughter L. and lastly to Hubby. It was the WORST I have ever felt. The good news is that it lasted only 24 hours, although L. seems to be hanging on to it a little longer.

Obviously I did not get the great start on my New Years Resolutions that I wanted to. I was just glad to be able to get out of bed unassisted. So now its day 3, and I've had a chance to come to some sort of sense and I have slimmed down my resolution list. Maybe I was in a New Year's Eve Euphoric fog of some sort when I made them all, but the fog has cleared and here are the ones that have been voted off (so far... because something tells me there will be more to come...)

1) Using the Fit day food tracker. Honestly, this is a giant pain in the ass to do. Looking up the food is not easy unless its something simple like a raw apple or something. I just don't have the time to do this. Good idea, bad execution.

2) Wii weigh in every morning. Getting on the Wii in the morning is rough because L wants to be on it too. I already weigh myself on a regular scale so I think I'll just stick to letting the Wii weigh me when I use it.

Hey, that's it! I thought there were a lot more, but I am going to try and stick to the others. Oh, and you know what, I actually accomplished one (sort of). I deleted a program from Tivo that I watched, so there is my "Give up 1 TV show". Bye-bye CSI Miami. If only your script and cast were better, maybe it would have been one of the other umpteen shows on my tivo list, but nope... you had to stick with the cheesy one-liners and "pretty" 1 dimensional characters. But don't worry about me... I have other CSI's and NCIS's to take your place.

Resolving to make Resolutions

2008-12-31T13:49:00.000-08:00

OK, so how cliche is a resolution blog on Dec 31st? Oh well, I don't care... its my blog and if you don't like it, you can click on to your next web page. Alrighty, here are my resolutions in no particular order : Develop 1 "Green" habit, get healthier, increase my productivity in all areas, and then there are some random resolutions that really don't fit into any particular category.

"Green" Habit ideas: So I thought if I can find one habit that I can stick to, at least it would be a good thing for the earth. I just have to find one that is easy for me to remember to do. Here is my short list so far 1) Vow not to purchase any wrapping paper ever again. I could save comics from the newspapers, or something like that. I would just have to start saving now since we only get the Sunday paper. 2) Start bringing at least one re-usable shopping bag with me every time I shop. I have a hard time remembering to bring bags with me, but maybe if I keep one in the car that will help me stick to it better. 3) Start composting for the garden. This is probably the most work intensive habit, but I think it would make the biggest impact. I'll have to do a lot more research since we have a small yard.

Get Healthy ideas: 1)Drop down to 140 pounds (I'll weigh myself tomorrow to see how many pounds that will be, but its more than I care to admit right now), 2)Eat only healthy snacks (easier said than done), 3)Use Fitday.com foodtracker to keep track of what I am eating, 4)Use our new Wii-fit for 30 minutes at least 3 times a week, and 5) weigh in on the Wii every morning. I know this resolution is very cliche, but god do I need to do it.

Increase productivity ideas: OK, I am a certified slacker. So these are some things I want to get done this year and they all fall under this general category. 1) Read 3 books. More specifically, 3 of my "classic" books. 2) Finish the 2008 journals for Lilly 3) Make 3 Christmas gifts for next year 4) Finish 3 projects from my craft/sewing room (hopefully separate from the Xmas gifts) 5) Organize recipes (to help me cook "in" more easily) 6) Organize my office (to make working Real Estate and Photography more productive) 7) Wake up at 7am Monday through Thursday. My daughter sleeps in and I think I have totally spoiled myself by sleeping until she gets up. I could do a lot with the extra hour or 2 each day. 8) Stick to chore list (I created an awesome chore list broken down by day and when we stick to it things go so much smoother) 9) Try to stick t the flylady.com schedule. This is an online organizing and cleaning regiment that would help keep the house in excellent order.

Random Goals: Not sure what category to put these into, so here they are kind of mish-mashed. 1) Get Pregnant (Yup, we want #2) 2) Go to church at least every other week. 26 times a year. I am lazy and it is so easy to stay in bed rather than go. 3) Get together with 1 friend a month that I do not see often enough (The long lost friend list). 4) Give up 1 TV show. I watch a LOT of TV thanks to Tivo, so I am going to give one up and delete it from my recordings list. 5) Research Laser eye surgery and getting some rather prominent birth marks removed. Not sure I will go through with these, but I at least want to get the research portion of this done.

OK, that's it in a very LARGE nutshell. Wish me luck... lets see how many of these are still on my "TO DO" list when February 1st rolls around ;)

Intro

2008-12-30T21:04:00.000-08:00

Like every dance, this "Masochism Tango" needs an introduction. You know, the slow start up of the music before any real steps are taken. A brief measure or two to give you an idea of what will be in store... so here is mine: This may be a place where I rant, where I rave, where I talk about me, where I talk about you, it might help me accomplish things, or it might be a giant time suck where I expend too much effort and energy and walk away with nothing. Are you getting the idea that I have no clue what it will be? Good, then we are all on the same page.... Now, let the dance begin!